What Makes a Great Mother or Father? The Little Things

When I was in my twenties, my gaze was always focused on the big things—finding the “perfect” partner, the “to-die-for” job, the “huge” book deal, or getting into the “best” graduate school. Little things didn’t matter much; they were unnecessary distractions that I treated as rounding errors. I either ignored them or focused on what came before or after. Looking back, I can see that how deeply I was affected by films and operas. I was always waiting for the sweeping climax that would bring resolution, on a grand scale, to my life. I was young and eager to fit together the largest pieces of the puzzle of life, foolishly believing that the remaining bits didn’t matter. « Continue reading »

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Childhood Doesn’t Wait

“When I was around thirteen and my brother ten, Father had promised to take us to the circus. But at lunchtime there was a phone call; some urgent business required his attention downtown. We braced ourselves for disappointment. Then we heard him say [into the phone], ‘No, I won’t be down. It’ll have to wait.’

“When he came back to the table, Mother smiled. ‘The circus keeps coming back, you know,’”

“‘I know,’ said Father. ‘But childhood doesn’t.”

-Arthur Gordon

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Empty Yesterdays

My daughter loves to watch musicals.  It is one of our favorite things to do as a family.  Even as young as 5, she was captivated by every musical she watched (expect for Footloose for some reason).  The other night, we got blankies and piled on our bed to watch The Music Man.  I was struck by a quote from the show. « Continue reading »

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Letting Go

Little shoes, little clothes and a huge Mickey Mouse backpack. She is ready to go to school. We get in the car and already I feel a little sad because she will not be with me today. I won’t hear her little laugh and see that priceless smile. I won’t have any owies to fix or hugs to give. I won’t have my little girl sitting on my lap listening to a story or two. We won’t be snuggling in front of a TV show or having a little snack together. « Continue reading »

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I Have Found Myself, I Am A Dad!

I am standing in a hot, smelly gymnasium.  I can feel the sweat trickling down my back.  My right arm is aching from holding up the video camera.  My back hurts from hunching over so that I don’t block someone else’s view.  And yet here I am with a big smile on my face… as happy as ever because tonight I am watching my daughter perform in the play she has been working on for the last few months. « Continue reading »

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Proud Father of a Tomboy

I work from home and consequently get to spend a lot of time with my daughter.  I am not sure if I can take total credit for her Tomboyishness but I hope that this at least suggests that I have a good relationship with her.  « Continue reading »

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Welcome to Holland

I am the mother of an Autistic child. He is four years old and after a VERY rough start, including almost losing him at birth, and 3 weeks in the NICU, we are finally starting to understand him. « Continue reading »

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Perspective…

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.  Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad’. « Continue reading »

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Parenting Lessons From A Suffering Child: Part 2

I felt like we had become spiders living in a web of wires and tubes. They clung to her feet and chest. They protruded from her nose, back, arms, and other uncomfortable places. It was difficult to move her or to even change her diaper. It was nearly impossible to pick her up. She was in a constant state of discomfort and pain where sleep comes in small spurts and only when weariness finally overcomes pain. « Continue reading »

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Splitting a doll

When our daughter was 5 years old, we started giving her a little allowance for cleaning up her room to get her used to the idea of money.  As soon as she ever got any money she would immediately want to go buy a stuffed animal (this is still true at age 8).  « Continue reading »

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