To Summer at Eighteen

November 1994

Dear Summer,

Eighteen years ago I stood looking at you—fresh-born—through the big glass window in the hospital nursery, watching the nurses try to count your tiny toes. Minutes old, you were bright-red-screaming-at-the-top-of-your-lungs unbounded life, squirming and kicking in every direction—quite a challenge to those toe-counting nurses. How I wanted to reach through the window, to be closer to you as you celebrated your newfound freedom. From behind the glass, I breathed a promise: I would never stand in the way of your freedom. « Continue reading »

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A Kiss That Still Works

Dr. James Dobson’s book, “Stories of the Heart and Home” illustrates that special romantic love that we dwell on during Valentine’s Day so beautifully, I just had to send it along to all of you.  “But nothing is so beautiful as a loving relationship that conforms to God’s magnificent design”.  Here is a brilliant example of this divinely inspired love.  It was written by the surgeon who experienced it.  Perhaps you will be deeply moved by his words, as was I. « Continue reading »

Mean Mom in Awe

My mom passed away two months ago. I have not been the same since. Not just because I lost her, but because of what I learned about my two college age sons.

The first thing they each said when I told them of her aggressive cancer diagnosis was, “How soon can I go see her”, halfway across the country. Neither had the time or money and neither gave it a second thought. They spent an entire weekend devoted to creating last memories with her, building a snowman in her front yard as she watched from inside with her oxygen and cane until she couldn’t contain herself anymore and ran out in socks to have a picture taken with them and the now famous snowman. They baked Christmas cookies and threw pieces of dough at each other until she joined in laughing. When they had to say their final good-byes, both were incredibly strong. « Continue reading »

Fireworks and Memories

She is sitting on my lap as we gaze into the night sky.  This may be the last year she will be willing to do that.  She’s growing up so fast and pretty soon snuggling with Daddy will be embarrassing rather than comforting.  She lays her head against my chest and I smile.  Above us, cascading explosions of light and color brighten the darkness.  I glance down at her wonder filled face.  She doesn’t notice me looking at her so I take a moment to drink in her innocent beauty.  She is my little girl, my grown up baby.  With every flash in the sky, pictures fill my mind of different times when I have looked at this precious face… « Continue reading »

Burying Children…

The hardest thing I’ve been through as a parent is to have to bury two of my children… It taught me to cherish life and love every moment that I have with my family. It taught me not to take my kids for granted because they could be taken from me with no warning. Every day is a blessing, treat it as such!

What Makes a Great Mother or Father? The Little Things

When I was in my twenties, my gaze was always focused on the big things—finding the “perfect” partner, the “to-die-for” job, the “huge” book deal, or getting into the “best” graduate school. Little things didn’t matter much; they were unnecessary distractions that I treated as rounding errors. I either ignored them or focused on what came before or after. Looking back, I can see that how deeply I was affected by films and operas. I was always waiting for the sweeping climax that would bring resolution, on a grand scale, to my life. I was young and eager to fit together the largest pieces of the puzzle of life, foolishly believing that the remaining bits didn’t matter. « Continue reading »

First Day Of School

She started school this morning,
And she seemed so very small.
As I walked there beside her
In the Kindergarten hall.

And as she took her place beside
the others in the class,
I realized how all too soon
Those first few years can pass.

Remembering, I saw her as
She first learned how to walk.
The words that we alone made out
When she began to talk.

This little girl so much absorbed
In learning how to write.
It seems as though she must have grown
To girlhood overnight.

My eyes were blurred by hastily
I brushed the tears away
Lest by some word or sign of mine
I mar her first big day.

Oh how I longed to stay with her
And keep her by the hand
To lead her through the places
That she couldn’t understand.

And something closely kin to fear
Was mingled with my pride.
I knew she would no longer be
A baby by my side.

But she must have her chance to live,
To work her problems out,
The privilege to grow and learn
What life is all about.

And I must share my little girl
With friends and work and play;
She’s not a baby anymore –
She’s in Kindergarten today.


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Message From Your Child

1. Don’t spoil me. I know quit well that I shouldn’t have all that I ask for, I’m only testing you.

2. Don’t be afraid to be firm with me, I prefer it. It makes me feel more secure.

3. Don’t let me form bad habits, I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.

4. Don’t make me feel smaller than I am, It only makes me behave stupidly big.

5. Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it.

6. Don’t make me feel that my mistakes are sins, it upsets my set of values.

7. Don’t be upset when I say “I hate you”, it’s not you I hate, but your power to hinder.

8. Don’t protect me from consequences, I need to learn the painful way sometimes.

9. Don’t nag, if you do I will need to protect myself by appearing deaf.

10. Don’t make rash promises, remember I feel badly let down when promises are broken.

11. Don’t tax my honesty too much, I am easily frightened into telling lies.

12. Don’t be inconsistent, that completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

13. Don’t tell me my fears are silly, they are terribly real to me and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.

14. Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me to great a shock when I discover that you are neither.

15. Don’t forget that I can’t thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don’t need to tell you that, do I?

The Thick of Autumn

The cold air hits me hard in the face. We are in the thick of autumn, in its entire splendor.  I smell coffee (because I always smell coffee, it is my constant companion along with my Lord!) and I’m pleasantly perked up by the chill.  We’re off to somewhere each and every day.  There are many children to prepare and feed and move along to their intended arrival areas.  Mornings fly by with gentle admonishing and kisses and manner reminders, while backpacks are zipped and coats are buttoned. « Continue reading »

Empty Yesterdays

My daughter loves to watch musicals.  It is one of our favorite things to do as a family.  Even as young as 5, she was captivated by every musical she watched (expect for Footloose for some reason).  The other night, we got blankies and piled on our bed to watch The Music Man.  I was struck by a quote from the show. « Continue reading »